Happy Holidays

'Clumsy' up a hill

Hello, again. It's been a while.

I've just got back from holiday and after the last time I came home from being away, I must admit I was a little nervous. I needn't have worried. Eric stayed with my parents so had a lovely little holiday of his own.

I went away for a week, with The Boyfriend, to Ooop North. Mind you, as we're from Dahn Sahf, anything north of Norfolk is northerly. He'd not been north of Leicester before. Weird, eh?

Anyway, we had a lovely time. Mostly.

Since I've known him, I've realised that he is as clumsy as fuck. I don't just mean a little bit careless, I mean Oh-my-god-please-not-again type of clumsy.

Foolishly, we went to assorted Houses and Castles while away and I held my breath most of the time. It was a bit like taking an untrained puppy into a posh friend's house. Stressful.

There were displays of beautiful, historical and no doubt priceless items, under glass, that he would lean on - not seeing the "DISPLAY CASE IS ALARMED - PLEASE DO NOT LEAN ON" signs. How did he miss them? How?

In one Stately Home, he found a wibbly floor - the sort where all the floorboards bounce and creak as you walk over them. Everyone else walked past the display cases with care, seeing AND HEARING that the contents were moving due to the floorboards.

Not him.

He walked past, looked at me, grinned, and then walked back and forth, bouncing and creaking as the contents jangled like a set of keys.

The worst moment was when we walked into a small ante-room that had walls covered in vibrant red wallpaper - very OLD wallpaper that said "DO NOT TOUCH" with very OLD, EXPENSIVE-TO-REPLACE curtains that also said "DO NOT TOUCH".

I could see his face. The signs did not register. He brushed the wallpaper (it was a bit like the flocked stuff you get in an Indian restaurant - the stuff that makes you want to touch it) and then he swooped the curtains back to see what was behind them.

Oh. My. God. I. Nearly. Killed. Him. With. My. Look.

All I could do was turn around and walk out. The embarrassment.

Still, other than that, we had a lovely time but I've decided it'll be beach holidays from now on. Far less stress.

Eric was delighted to see us and we brought him home and gave him the soft bone-like treat we'd bought him. He took it and then 'sang' his way around the house and garden for about 10 minutes, in sheer delight, until he found a comfy spot to settle and eat it. Happy days.

Looking for somewhere comfy

Happy to be home